Kids. They change things.
Before we had tiny human beings in our household, my husband and I were able to do things without much thought.
When it was just the two of us, showing affection was as easy as reaching out for his hand.
Just kidding. As if they would ever stay still like that.
My husband and I used to curl up on the couch and watch movies after dinner. It was sweet.
Now that we have two kids, we still watch movies after dinner. But the movies we see have become less varied. Specifically, a cute little movie named Frozen, which we have watched approximately 3,562,125 times.
Lately, my husband and I have been talking about how important it is to set aside time to be out of the parenting zone.
So we tried.
… and ended up talking about grown up things.
What can be more grown up than being parents, right?
Like I said, kids: they change things.
Having kids did this to her marriage.
Because only a geek can make you smile by saying something like this :
*Actual quote from my husband. He was a geek way before it became cool to be one.
P.S. Know your terms.
My husband gives me the most beautiful letters. The quote above is from one of the earliest letters he sent, back when he was courting me. I memorized it by heart, down to the details of the yellow envelope in came in. Years later, we got married and he continues to floor me with his words, written or otherwise. I am still so awed at how he sees me.
P.S. Letters are lovely.
In a sea of financial obligations, debits, credits, expectations that may either be met or unmet, there are many things that I still need to be thankful for. I spent a large chunk of this week thinking about my decreased capacity to earn because of my sensitive pregnancy, oftentimes feeling guilty because I want to contribute more, more, more. It made me sad.
This Sunday, I am taking a step back. I’ll rest my everyday in the knowledge that God provides and enjoy the fact that my husband is generous, hardworking, and responsible. We are a team, my husband says. I should learn that being part of this team means that I should be just as comfortable with taking as I am with giving. Give and take, love and be loved. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.
I’ve actually been on bed rest for a couple months now due to some precautions my doctor wants me to take. The little one is way too excited to come out into the world and meet everyone. (Patience should be lesson number one, it seems.) With work out of the question and long car rides discouraged, I’m pretty much the Loch Ness of my circle. My outings are rare and very, very brief.
Yesterday was one of those times that I made the effort to go somewhere. I was under a cloud from being cooped up for such a long time and I wanted to support my husband who was bringing a married couple to speak at his work. In a nutshell, I’m glad I did. I may have developed a couple-crush on them.
My husband and I are really the first ones in our circle of friends to get married. Although we still enjoy being with our single friends, it’s not always easy to stay connected. The schedules don’t match, the choice of what makes for interesting conversation changes, and priorities shift. I’m learning that these differences are part of the realities of marriage.
This is why I thought meeting that couple was so refreshing. They have been married for much longer and are parents to a young boy. They are so respectful and affectionate with each other. It was also obvious that they prioritize their family. Those are characteristics that my husband and I are continuously working on to develop and maintain in our own marriage. I felt like I was drinking in all their stories on marriage and child-rearing. I was so obviously thrilled to meet them that it was embarrassing.
One of things the most striking things they mentioned was how they spend their anniversaries. They write down the things that they are thankful for and what they can improve on. Isn’t that a wonderful idea? It so simple but seems like it would be so effective. It would be lovely to look back at how far the marriage has journeyed 10, 15, or even 50 years later since it’s all written down. My husband and I celebrated our first year anniversary a few weeks ago and we’re planning on doing this very, very soon.
To those who are married or are in serious relationships, what’s the most practical tip you have ever received?
To my husband, who is taking me and my friends on a trip,
I think you are more awesome than a tutu-wearing puppy that is hugging a baby panda while standing on top of a rainbow.